I wasn't sure what to say here or if I should say anything at all, but I decided that success stories are important to help provide encouragement, hope, and possible advice. I want to get the word out, because I didn't known before, about progesterone! I had 3 very early miscarriages and changed doctors before I was taken seriously about needing to get progesterone right away. I don't want to bash my old doctor but let's just say I LOVE my new doctor!! I know that the way things happened for us is how they were supposed to happen, but it still upset me that I couldn't get progesterone the moment I asked for it, and that I had to experience 3 miscarriages before they would admit that maybe there was a problem. My first doctor just said, "2 miscarriages is normal so just assume you are normal and everything will be fine the next time." Well, the next time I went in asking for progesterone and they said I had to have a blood test first, wait ALL weekend for the results, and then they would see if I could have some. I know now that had I gotten progesterone that day it still wouldn't have made a difference because I was already too far along and had already started to miscarry, but to me, that seems like a lot of bull crap!
I met my new doctor back in September and he seemed very smart and confident but also focused more on figuring out how to get me pregnant instead of staying pregnant. We didn't feel like getting pregnant was our issue, it was keeping the pregnancy. However, we trusted him and did what we could of what he asked and hoped that when I did get pregnant he would be just as smart and confident about what to do then.
Just after New Years I decided to take a pregnancy test fully expecting a negative because I didn't feel any different and we weren't able to "try" as much as we thought we maybe needed to because of the holidays and such. I looked at the test right away and saw the negative line showing up really fast. I set it aside and continued to get ready for church and even told My Love that I think it's negative but I was just waiting the full time to double check. 3 - 5 minutes later I couldn't believe that I was actually seeing a plus sign on that little stick. I was in shock at first, then my emotions turned to panic. I knew I wanted progesterone right now! I actually had some left over from my previous doctor so I felt safe that I could start it that day. We live with my parents and I knew I couldn't hide it from them, so I took the test into my mom and asked her if she could help me read the results. She seemed confused by my request but was happy for the news. She kept her cool because I think she could tell I was apprehensive, but we were all excited inside. At church I couldn't wait for Relief Society to end so I could talk to my friend who is a nurse for my new doctor. She told me to take the progesterone I had and that she would get me a full prescription tomorrow, no questions asked, no blood tests. She said they aren't that strict in her office. SEE! That's how you handle such fragile women as us! Give us what we need, as long as it's not going to hurt the baby!!
The next four weeks were terrible for me emotionally. I wasn't feeling very "pregnant" and was constantly worried that something was going to go wrong. Every time I went to the bathroom I held my breath hoping I wouldn't see any red. I would curl up into a ball when I would sneeze because I didn't want the force of my sneeze to cause any harm. I pretty much just sat around the house all day every day because I didn't want to do any physical activity that might be too much. I didn't want to talk about the pregnancy or even acknowledge that it was a baby because I didn't want to get attached. I was constantly looking for signs that everything was going well and of course jumped at the opportunity to do a blood HCG test a week after I took the home test. I had done this many times before and knew that I would have to wait a couple days to even know if the second number was going up, which meant we were doing good, but I figured I could worry for a couple days and then have some reassurance or disappointment, or I could worry and worry until something else happens. Happily for us, my HCG numbers more than doubled, which was a great sign. A week after that I was still worried and jumped again at the chance to have an early ultrasound. I went to the hospital and had a transvaginal ultrasound and hoped we could see the baby and hear a heart beat. Unfortunately I wasn't far enough along to see the baby or a heartbeat but we did see a gestational sack and a yolk sack which were both the best news we could get at the time. We were asked to repeat the ultrasound in two weeks. Two weeks felt like an ETERNITY!
At that point I was 8 weeks pregnant, 2 weeks further than I had ever been with any other pregnancy, I had no bleeding, no cramping, and got to go in for my first doctor appointment. I had no idea what to expect but we were so excited to finally have some confirmation that everything would be ok. To our joy my doctor put the ultrasound probe on my belly and we could see a tiny little black spot with an even smaller gray spot inside. Then the best thing that I have ever heard in my life came out of my doctor's mouth "I love what I'm seeing here!" He said that everything looked great and then he showed us the little flicker that was our baby's heart beating. To say My Love and I were so happy is a complete understatement. We were shocked and awed and elated beyond belief. The second best thing I heard that day was my doctor told us that after we see a heartbeat the chance of miscarriage is less than 1%. Ah, I could finally accept and be happy that I was pregnant!
To my parent's and My Love's joy my mood lifted after this appointment and we decided it was ok to let our siblings in on our secret. That was a lot of fun to finally be able to say the words out loud, I'm Pregnant. They were all so happy for us and My Love's sisters even started to cry which was so sweet and meant so much to us.
I have experienced an array of pregnancy symptoms which have been a welcome reassurance that there is still a baby growing inside of me. I never want to complain about anything I've experience because 1- I know many other people have it A LOT worse than I do, and 2- I don't ever want to seem ungrateful for this amazing blessing and miracle that we have. I'm excited for all the phases I'll be going through in the next 5+ months and of course beyond. I can't wait to be a mom and I know that from all these experiences I have had, I will cherish every moment with my child so much more.
At my 12 week appointment my doctor told me to stop taking the progesterone. I was very hesitant and nervous but he said the baby is growing and doesn't need it anymore. So, I stopped, but I had a really rough couple of weeks worrying that maybe I had stopped too soon and I was going to loose this baby.
I am now 16 weeks and the baby is doing great! I really feel like I owe it all to progesterone. For anyone out there, or someone you know, that has had one or more early miscarriages, I would ask that you talk to your doctor about progesterone. Even demand it if you have to! Stay on top of your cycles and take a pregnancy test as early as you think you can, and then go to your doctor and make them give you progesterone. Even if you don't need it, it won't hurt your baby, and at least you'll have that base covered. Also, talk to your doctor ahead of time to find out what their policy is when you get pregnant so you know what you need to do (blood tests or whatever) and how quickly you can get things done. I know that progesterone worked for me and I know of many other people it has worked for too. I hope this information can help someone else out there. We all deserve to be mothers and to have control over our care. I pray that all of you will have the success you are desiring whether it is through natural conception, fertility treatments or adoption. Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us and He knows our hearts and our desires and will fulfill them according to His plan. Thank you all for your love and support to me and each other. We all need to stick together to have joy with those experiencing joy, and to hold up those experiencing frustration or sorrow. You are all wonderful!
If you want this blog to continue please email me or post a comment. I stopped creating new posts because I was having a hard time coming up with topics and I wasn't getting a lot of feedback about what people wanted to talk about. Also, I wasn't sure that anyone was even still reading, other than my close friends. So if you have something you want to talk about or ask your fellow fertility friends here please let me know, otherwise, this may be my last post. Thanks again to everyone!!
2 comments:
glad you are back, and SO excited for you, missy!
I'm sitting here crying even more than when you told me in person. We love you guys and can't be more happy for you! I can't count the number of prayers we have said for you over the years. SO happy to see that you got your miracle!
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