Bummed Out

I really try to be positive most of the time, but these last few days I have been really bummed.
Warning: Lots of whining beyond this point, proceed at your own risk!
I'm not really sure what's going on... I like to blame all my emotions on hormones, because we all know things are going crazy in here! When I cry at a Disney Channel movie, I think it's safe to blame hormones, so I am going to go with that.
I quit my job thinking/hoping that I would feel better, have less stress and anxiety, have more time to get things done and to do things I enjoy, eat better, and mostly just enjoy life! So far, I have been tired, anxious, grumpy, lazy, unmotivated, sad, and a hermit. Total opposite of what I was trying to achieve! I tried to go to bed earlier and get up earlier; I tried creating projects and things to do; I tried thinking of errands to run; nothing is really having a lasting effect. Then I'm feeling guilty because I worry that my parents think I'm just being a lazy mooch.
I really thought quitting my job would help relieve my stress and anxiety, I could eat better, and finally gain some weight that I've lost from all that. So far... nothing. I've still felt anxious a lot, I'm not really eating differently, and I'm not gaining weight! How can I get pregnant if I don't gain weight? This was the whole purpose for our plans.
I thought progesterone was going to be the answer I have been looking for since my first miscarriage in December of 2006. So far, no pregnancy... it just makes me start my period. I'm so confused, lost, upset, frustrated, sad, and hopeless. I tried looking up info on progesterone online yesterday. I read some questions and answers, and a blog of a girl who had the same problem as me, and progesterone worked for her! You'd think that would make me feel better, like it will work for me. No, it made me feel the opposite! I just keep getting more upset with my previous Dr. and his lack of knowledge, attention, and help to me. I have an appointment with my new Dr. but it's not for another 2 weeks. (He was a month out!) It can't come soon enough. I'm also looking for a mental health professional because I'm worried I can't handle all this on my own. There you have it. My secret. I'm crazy and need help!
My Love has been very supportive and so sweet, but that just feels like a band aide on a broken leg. We have also been asked to speak in our ward. Public speaking is not something I enjoy, nor am I good at. Normally, if I just use my time to prepare I can feel ok about it, but I have no motivation to prepare. All I can do is think about how scary it's going to be, and am I going to be able to curb my anxiety enough to make it through the meeting.
I have cramps. No one likes cramps, but they really just make me sad, and angry. It's like every cramp is a slap in the face, you're still NOT pregnant! Way to add insult to injury. All I want to do is lay in bed in my jammies, eat cookies and fried food, and watch mindless movies. But then my brain tells me that's disgusting and not productive. Get up and do something, and you'll feel better. Well, I'm up, I've showered, I've played on the internet, and I still feel terrible. Maybe I need to go outside, get some fresh air and sun. I'll try that.
I'm sorry to anyone that actually read through this whole post. I usually try to put a positive spin on things, no matter how I'm feeling, but not today. Better luck tomorrow.