Being Happy For Others

One thing that I have struggled with is how to be happy for friends and family when they get pregnant and have babies, and I'm still feeling empty. It's been a hard thing for me, and I'm certainly not perfect at it still, but I feel like I have been able to overcome this crummy feeling a bit.
The first girl I remember being really upset with/jealous of was one of my visiting teachers. She came over a few days, maybe a week, after I had my first miscarriage. They started with the usual questions, where are you from? are you in school? how long have you been married? do you have any kids? Of course when it came to the last question, I just said no, or not yet, and then passed the question right back, because I knew neither of them had kids. Well, the one sister, let's call her Beth, said "Actually, we're having our first." According to my calculations, she was due about the same time I would have been. That just about shattered my heart again. Of course I couldn't say anything, I hardly knew these girls. So I just held it in till they left. Then I cried.
As the months went on I tried to avoid Beth and the baby subject. I could hardly stand to watch her adorable pregnant belly grow, and couldn't help but think if mine would have looked the same. I dreaded going to church and I felt like I had isolated myself because I didn't want to talk to anyone. I was afraid I would find out they were pregnant too, because in my ward, EVERYONE is pregnant. I was beginning to wonder, where is this fertility fountain they are all obviously drinking from?
When I heard that Beth had her baby, I was feeling so terrible for being upset with her. Why was I upset with HER? My experiences and feelings had nothing to do with her! She had no idea what I was going through, and I felt like it wasn't fair for me to be acting that way. So, I went to the store, I bought a pack of newborn diapers and a bow, and I called Beth and asked her if I could come visit. She very sweetly said I could. I decided I was going to give Beth the diapers as an action of faith, because I knew that if I could quit having a pity party for myself, and do something for someone else, then Heavenly Father would help heal my broken heart.
She invited me in, and asked if I wanted to hold her baby. Of course! We sat and chatted, and she told me how he was a miracle baby. They were surprised that she could get pregnant because of some reproductive problems she had. Then she had some really scary things happen during delivery. I remember having a total paradigm shift at that moment! This baby was their miracle, and who am I to take that away from them?
There have been several other occasions when I have felt hard hearted toward a pregnant friend, and I have tried to set aside those feelings and do something nice for them. In the end, I have made some incredible friendships, and I have grown as a person. I have started feeling a little less sad for myself, and happier for others. I found that I really enjoy holding with those babies, and then giving them back when they poop all over themselves! I learned that life is too short to spend all your time feeling bad for yourself. And I have learned that it's really hard to be upset with someone when you're serving them. This lesson has come in handy in a lot of aspects of my life. I'm also grateful to My Love who helps me remember these things when I find myself getting off track.
I still get a little sad when I hear that my friends are having their second baby, before I can even have my first. I still get that sting in my heart when I hear about girls who were Mia Maids when I was a Laurel, are now pregnant before me. But then I think, who am I to take away their joy? I can be sad for myself, and still be happy for them. I don't have to kill myself trying to overcompensate for my sad feelings, but sometimes a small act of service goes a long way in helping yourself, and the people you serve.